Social Media on My Mind: Building Positive Connections

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Smartphones and social media have revolutionized the ways we interact with technology and with each other. Social media can be a beneficial technology. It allows us to find news and information, share fun content, and connect with old friends or make new ones. For some of us, social media is a vital means of connection when we are unable to interact face-to-face.

But sometimes social media can be harmful as well. With nearly 9 out of every 10 teenagers reporting they use the Internet at least several times a day¹, it is important to know the potential pitfalls of social media and how to avoid them. Here are some key points about social media use, especially among youth and young adults:

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Depression and Anxiety

While social media is a great way to connect with friends, problems can appear if too much importance is placed on likes and comments. If someone posts a picture and does not get as many likes or comments as they expected, they might feel disappointed, anxious, or depressed. These feelings can also appear if someone compares their posts to those of others, who seem to have perfect lives.

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Poor Body Image

It is common for social media celebrities to make posts about dieting and exercising to lose weight or increase athletic performance. But it is also common to filter or edit these images to artificially boost the person’s appearance. When someone compares themself to these unrealistic ideals, they can feel badly about their body image, appearance, or value as a person.

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 Cyberbullying

 Cyberbullying is when bullying happens online. Sadly, online bullying can be worse than face-to-face bullying because it is easy to hide from parents and teachers, and it can be posted anonymously and publicly. Bullies might be more cruel online because they are not seeing their victim’s face-to-face. Cyberbullying can lead to sadness, low self-esteem, violence, and thoughts of suicide.

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Like many things, the key to healthy social media use is moderation. There are great benefits to using social media, but you may be surprised at how beneficial it is to take some time off from social media. In fact, one study published in 2020 found that people who deactivated their Facebook account for a month reported lower depression and anxiety, and greater satisfaction with life.² Whether for a month or just for a few hours this evening, try taking a break from social media and focusing on your mental well-being.

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Here are some tips to help you set boundaries and improve your digital wellness:

      • Limit the amount of time you spend on social media each day.
      • Try taking one day off from all social media each week.
      • Remind yourself that people only share their best moments online – everyone has problems, even if you don’t see them!
      • Make sure to spend time with the people and activities you enjoy in the real world.
      • Get familiar with your privacy settings on social media sites. If someone is bullying or harassing you online, you can block them from contacting you or report them to the site’s administrators. Some sites also allow you to hide content that you don’t want to see, without alerting the post’s creator.
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Most smartphones now have settings you can use to help track and limit your time on social media apps. For Apple devices, click here to learn more about Screen Time. For Android devices, click here to learn more about Digital Wellness.

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References:

1. Pew Research Center. (May 2018). “Teens, Social Media, & Technology 2018”. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/05/31/teens-social-media-technology-2018/

2. Allcott, H., Braghieri, L., Eichmeyer, S., & Gentzkow, M. (2020). “The welfare effects of social media.” American Economic Review110(3): 629-76. DOI: 10.1257/aer.20190658

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Seven Fun Ways to Give Thanks at Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving is coming up very soon! We are excited for all the turkey, stuffing, vegetables, casseroles, cranberry sauce, and of course the pumpkin pie. But don’t forget the attitude behind this holiday. We celebrate Thanksgiving to show gratitude for all the good things we have been given.

It can be easy to focus on the negative things in life, which is why being thankful and recognizing the good things is so important. Scientific research supports the common sense that thankfulness and wellness go together like pumpkin pie and whipped cream. In fact, one scientific review found that gratitude has a positive impact on heart health,¹ while another study showed that gratitude is related to decreased risks for major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and suicidal ideation.² There’s no doubt that thankfulness is good for you.

We have gathered seven fun ideas to help you and your loved ones give thanks this Thanksgiving. Check out these ideas in the slideshow below, and try adding one to your holiday celebrations this year. Happy Thanksgiving, from all of us at RAYSAC!

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Write down the names of every person at the table on pieces of paper. Randomly give each person one piece of paper with someone else’s name. Then everyone takes turns saying something about they appreciate about that person. This is a great way to let loved ones know that they are important to you!

Tip: Even if a guest does not know their person very well, honest compliments can be very meaningful. Try something simple, like “I really enjoyed that funny story you told” or “Thanks for bringing this delicious pie!”

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Have each person write something they are thankful for on a folded piece of paper. Put each person’s paper in a bowl and pass it around the table so that everyone picks a random paper. Then, everyone takes turns reading what is written on their paper and tries to guess who wrote it.

Tip: Be as specific as possible when you write what you are thankful for. It would be hard for the person guessing if several players wrote that they were thankful for “family”!

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Add something you can write on to the centerpiece of your dinner table. It could be something like a pumpkin or some paper leaves. Have each dinner guest write something they are thankful for with a felt tip marker. This will turn your Thanksgiving dinner decoration into a reminder of everything you are grateful for!

Tip: Have your family members add one thing each day leading up to Thanksgiving. You might be surprised at how many things you have when it’s finished.

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This one is great for kids! Have each player make a list of things they are thankful for. For the treasure hunt, it helps to write physical things instead of abstract things like “my health” or “good grades”. Then each player searches to find the items on their gratitude list. Or for a bigger challenge, have the players find things from other players’ lists!

Tip: You can also suggest gratitude items for your kids to look for. See if they can find something that reminds them of a happy memory, something that makes them feel good about who they are, and something that makes them feel safe.

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Find a large, white tablecloth or a sheet of wrapping paper. Have everyone write things they are thankful for on the tablecloth with a felt tip marker. This is a great reminder of everything you are thankful for, and you can keep adding to it every Thanksgiving!

Tip: Once the tablecloth is full or when you are not using it, you can hang it on a wall in your home. It makes for a great decoration and a reminder to be grateful year-round.

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Think of sincere reasons that you appreciate each person in your family or group. Decide on an award title to give each person, such as “Best Hugs,” “Best Encourager,” or “Tastiest Snacks,” and print a certificate for each award. On Thanksgiving, have an awards ceremony where each person receives their certificate. You can make it as casual or as formal as you want!

Tip: Instead of certificates, you can also buy or make trophies for the awards. Try golden turkey trophies, or any design you want!

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Ask your dinner guests to bring an item that represents something they are thankful for. It could be a favorite book, a photograph, a letter, a favorite toy, or anything meaningful to them. When everyone is together, have each person show their item and share why they are thankful.

Tip: For an extra challenge, see if each person can remember what everyone before them said!

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References:

1. Cousin, L., Redwine, L., Bricker, C., Kip, K., & Buck, H. (2021). Effect of gratitude on cardiovascular health outcomes: a state-of-the-science review. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 16(3). 348-355. doi: 10.1080/17439760.2020.1716054

2. McGuire, A.P., Fogle, B.M., Tsai, J., Southwick, S.M., & Pietrzak, R.H. (2021). Dispositional gratitude and mental health in the U.S. veteran population: Results from the National Health and Resilience Veterans Study. Journal of Psyhiatric Research, 135. 279-288. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.01.020

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Helping Your Teen Cope with Stress


Stress is a normal part of life for everyone.  It’s the body’s way of responding to any kind of demand and can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how it is managed.  Teens have their own sources of stress that adults may not always recognize or understand.  The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that school is a major source of stress for teenagers.1  Teens can also become stressed due to family problems and expectations, issues with friends, bullying, dating relationships, peer pressure and poor time management.  Signs that your teen may be stressed include difficulty sleeping, headaches, stomach aches, increased irritability, isolating themselves, frequent illness, negative changes in behavior, difficulty concentrating and increased worrying

According to the APA, teenagers experience extremely high levels of stress but are not able to judge how it affects them and don’t know how to cope with it in healthy ways.1  Because their brains are not fully developed, teens act without thinking about the consequences of their actions.  When teens don’t know how to deal with stress, they are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol for an immediate escape from their problems. However, using drugs or alcohol to cope with stress does nothing to help with the actual problem, and may increase it.


Here are some ways you can help your teen manage their stress in healthy ways:

  • Be available.  Make one-on-one time a part of your weekly routine so he or she knows they can always come to you for help with a problem. 2   When they come to you for help, ask questions and listen to what they say.  This will help you guide him or her in working through the problem.
  • Encourage healthy escapes.  Teach your teen that it’s okay to take healthy breaks from stressful situations.  Physical activity of any kind is great for relieving stress.  Listening to music, reading a non-school book, working on a hobby and playing with a pet are other suggestions. 
  • Laugh.   Encourage them to watch funny videos and get together with their friends.  Teach your teenager to laugh at him/herself when they make normal mistakes. 2 
  • Write it down. Buy your teenager a journal or diary and encourage them to write in it.  Make sure they understand that you will not read it unless they ask you to.  Journaling will allow them to express their feelings without fear of judgment or criticism from others.  After the stressful situation has passed, they can look back over what they wrote and think about how they handled it. 2
  • Build confidence.  Sometimes it can be easy for parents to overlook the good things teens do.  Make a point to notice something positive your teen does every day and tell him or her about it.  When a teen has a strong self-esteem, they will be better able to handle stress. 2
  • Teach perspective.  Keeping things in perspective is an important part of dealing with stress.  Teens need to learn how to look at a situation from different points of view and how it fits in the “big picture” of their life. 2
  • Focus on the positive. Show your teen how to focus on the positive aspects of a situation.  Even the worst situations can provide chances for growth and positive outcomes.2
  • Seek professional help if necessary.    If your teen’s stress is interfering with school, family, responsibilities or friends, it may be a sign that your teen needs additional help managing stress.  If you have concerns, talk to your teen’s physician.1
  • Model healthy stress management.  You are your child’s most effective teacher. 

1https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-race-good-health/201402/5-tips-helping-teens-cope-stress

2http://parentingteens.about.com/od/teenwellness/a/deal_stress.htm

Emerging Adults – Supporting the Transition into Adulthood

There’s a newish term for the period between ages 18-29: emerging adulthood. During these years, emerging adults travel a path during which they want to pull away from the struggles of their teenage years and feel more responsible for themselves, but are also still closely tied to their parents and family.   According to the American Psychological Association, emerging adulthood is defined as an:

  • Age of identity exploration.Young people are deciding who they are and what they want out of work, school and love.
  • Age of instability.The post-high school years are marked by repeated residence changes, as young people either go to college or live with friends or a romantic partner.
  • Age of self-focus.Free of the parent- and society-directed routine of school, young people try to decide what they want to do, where they want to go and who they want to be with – before those choices get limited by the constraints of marriage, children and a career.
  • Age of feeling in between.Many emerging adults say they are taking responsibility for themselves but still do not completely feel like an adult.
  • Age of possibilities.Hopefulness is unlimited. Most emerging adults believe they have good chances of living “better than their parents did,” and even if their parents divorced, they believe they’ll find a lifelong soul mate.

Many emerging adults have more choices than ever before. They may find themselves continually searching for the absolute “perfect fit” when it comes to career, marriage, or parenthood. Parents, though, may feel frustrated or impatient with the slow progress of their emerging adult’s development. Peers may want to help but might not know how, as they are trying to figure out their own path. This leads us to the important question:

How can parents and peers best support emerging adults?

  •  Try not to offer advice about higher education, career directions or love interests. Let your emerging adult come to you when he or she is ready for advice. Allowing time and space for young adults to sort out their choices will be best for everyone involved.
  • Be curious about your emerging adult, but avoid interfering. When they share details about their upcoming choices and plans, help them to discover their wants and needs, not yours. It helps to ask open-ended questions (which can’t be answered with “Yes” or “No”). The goal is to open up space for them to explore their ideas and become more confident in their decisions.
  • Support them in finding organizational systems that work for them. This age brings bills, budgeting, increased responsibilities, a busier social calendar and additional belongings to keep straight. Good organizational systems will help your emerging adult feel more in control and capable of meeting the demands of this new life.  Remember, what works for you may not work for them.
  • Help them learn how to talk to those in authority. Navigating the world as an adult can be difficult and anxiety-causing for emerging adults if they don’t know how speak to adults as peers/colleagues or respectfully advocate for themselves. Brainstorm and role play situations when this skill might be necessary.
  • Don’t rescue your emerging adult. Watching your emerging adult make mistakes is tough. He or she will make decisions you don’t agree with, but they legally have the right to do so and must be allowed to have the responsibility of accepting the consequences of their actions. Experience is often the best teacher.
  • Don’t belittle them when they make mistakes. No one responds well to criticism. Look for what your emerging adult loves, what they do well and what they aspire to do, and focus on that. Remind them that you believe in them and that they have the ability to accomplish their goals.

It is important to trust your emerging adult to create their own life.  After all your hard work of building a solid foundation for them, it’s time to sit back and watch them fly.  It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it. It’s not giving up, it’s giving them control.

Parents, be there for your emerging adults.  They still need you!