Category: Healthy Behaviors

HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

aneal Drugs, Healthy Behaviors, Substance Use, Uncategorized

Teenage years can be an exciting time for growth and learning, but it can also be one of the most difficult. As they try to find their place in the world, they face pressures of changing times, changing norms, and never ending peer pressure. It is often at this time where they may start to experiment with drugs and alcohol. The average age of first use for marijuana is 14 and alcohol can start as early as 122. Teens start using for a variety of reasons such as boredom, depression, curiosity, stress, and/or peer pressure2.

Adolescents are very talented at hiding what they are doing and there are many products available at home, in stores, and online that help with this process. These items usually look like ordinary household items that are often undetected by parents. Below are a few examples of items that are most used to conceal illegal drug or alcohol use:

  • Dryer Sheets: These can be used to mask the smell of marijuana on clothing, when smoking or storing3.  These can be placed in the air vents of a bedroom or bathroom.
  • Custom Cans: There are numerous containers on the market with false bottoms or middles that can be used to store drugs. These can easily be purchased online and tend to look like everyday products like shaving cream and soda bottles3.
  • Sports Drinks and other colored and flavored drinks: Clear alcohol can easily be mixed with these and brought undetected to events3.
  • Sploof: A sploof is a homemade filter used to mask the smell of marijuana. These are usually made out of an empty toilet paper roll and dryer sheets. There are many YouTube videos that show how these are made3.
  • Homemade Smoking Pipes: These can be made out of many objects, including an apple or a soda can3.  
  • Drinking Game Paraphernalia: Items such as ping-pong balls or solo cups can be an indicator of alcohol use3. 
  • Flasks: These are available in many different shapes and sizes, including hairbrushes, lotions bottles, and tampon cases3.   
  • Purple Drank or Lean: This is a slang term for a mixture of cold medicine,  soda, ice and hard candy. The cold medicine usually contains promethazine and codeine and the effects of the drink last anywhere from 3-6 hours3.

Unfortunately, this is not a complete list of all the items that can be hidden in plain sight in any teenage room; there are many, many more. Parents, please be aware and make yourself familiar with these items. As always talk to your children about the dangers of substance abuse.

References:

  1. AACAP (2018) Teens: Alcohol and Other Drugs. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. March 2018 . https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Teens-Alcohol-And-Other-Drugs-003.aspx
  2. Drug Abuse. Teenagers and Drugs: 11 Real Reasons Why Teenagers Experiment. Drug Abuse. https://drugabuse.com/11-real-reasons-teenagers-experiment-drugs/
  3. Power to the Parent. Hidden in Plain Sight. Power to the Parent.org. http://powertotheparent.org/be-aware/hidden-in-plain-sight/

The Holidays and Grief

aneal Drugs, Healthy Behaviors

The holiday season is often an exciting and joyous time of the year; but for some it serves as a reminder of those loved ones who are no longer around. Grief is a powerful emotion that can wreak havoc in our everyday lives; causing anger, frustration, depression, and anxiety all at different extremes1. As humans, naturally, we avoid unpleasant situations and/or feelings due to not being able to handle or process the heavy emotions that accompany grief. This may cause some to cope in different ways such as lashing out in anger or engaging in unhealthy activities. Substance use and self-medicating are other ways that some people deal with grief. Please be aware that this only gives temporary relief and it will not permanently take away the pain. Using drugs and alcohol to suppress feelings can lead to addiction and create more negative feelings that affect your mental health.1 To help ease the holiday blues, listed below are a few healthy ways to prepare for the holidays while experiencing grief:

* Trust that grief is part of healing2: Time does not heal the pain associated with a loss; it is what you do with the time that matters. Do not try to escape the pain. Grief is a process and trying to avoid it only drags out that process.

* Set healthy boundaries2: You do not have to force yourself to face every holiday event or tradition. You are allowed to say no if something is going to be too painful.

*  Focus on what you can control2: We cannot keep every bad thing from occurring. Think about what you can do to lessen the impact for when things do go wrong and then pick a few things that you can do to assert some control. For example, if you know that you tend to burn things while cooking, do not offer to bring anything that involves cooking.

* Plan ahead2: The holidays are stressful enough with all that goes into them and sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event. Create a plan for yourself, so that you can prepare for what is to come and have an escape route if needed.

* Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions2: This one is very          important. Our emotions play into our everyday lives. It is our brain’s way of telling us how we feel without words. Do not block out these emotions. Embrace them and know that you do not have to hide them.

* Find ways to honor your memories2: Find a special way to memorialize the person whom you have lost. Whether it is lighting a candle or eating that person’s favorite dessert. This will help you feel that even though they may be gone, their love never fades.

* Create new traditions2: Sometimes old traditions fade away after a loved one has passed on. Do not be afraid to create a new tradition or alter an old one.

* Do something kind for others2: Volunteering or donating gifts to someone in need are just a couple of ways that you can do something kind for someone. Performing an act of kindness can be good for a grieving person and it will help produce that feeling of having something to offer the world.

* Ask for help2: Do not be afraid to ask for help when you are struggling. Whether this is a family member, friend, a professional, or even a stranger. If you feel that you need to talk to someone, there is always someone around who will listen.

Knowing healthy ways to cope and knowing when to ask for help are of the utmost importance. Parents or Guardians, if your family has recently experienced a loss, please talk to your kids about how the loss is affecting them and discuss healthy ways to manage those feelings.

              Happy Holidays from RAYSAC and a Happy New Year!

 Resources:

1. Addiction Center (2017).  4 Ways Greif Can Lead to Addiction. Addiction Center. 1 August 2017. retrieved 12 December 2019 from https://www.addictioncenter.com/community/4-ways-grief-can-lead-addiction/

2. Morin, A., (2015). How to Deal with Grief During the Holidays. Psychology Today.  21 December 2015. retrieved 6 December 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201512/how-deal-grief-during-the-holidays

Video Games and Substance Use

aneal Healthy Behaviors, Substance Use

October brought us costumes, candy, pumpkins, and fall fun. November brings thankfulness and the start of our holiday season. Our Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa lists start to fill with gifts to buy for our family, friends, or even oneself. One of the most asked for items for kids, teens, and young adults are video game consoles and the games that go with them. These games can be a great source for fun, but they can often have themes and story lines that are not age appropriate.

As we now know, screen time can affect a child’s brain development and mental health. A recent study showed that too much screen time can affect brain processing speed3. In addition to this excess screen time, some video games tend to be centered around substance use, violence, and other harmful themes that can affect the way our children think and behave. One study revealed that video gamers have a significantly higher consumption of alcohol than non-video gamers1.  The same study also pointed out that although the problematic use of video games is often short lived, the early use of substances increases the risk for later dependency. This study pointed out the need to teach adolescents and young adults about the possible risks of video games as well as the need for parents to monitor their use1.  Listed below are a few of the top video games that have scenes of substance use in them:

  • Fallout: This game uses drugs as “boosts,” which can lead your character to have increased intelligence, damage output and resistance. This ultimately helps with beating the game. In the game, your character has to keep taking the drugs to get the boosts, which means that your character is becoming addicted2.  (Rated M for Mature; Rated R according to Parents Guide)
  • rand Theft Auto: This series of games are notorious for their profanity, sexual references and drugs. Versions of the game explore drug dealing and building drug empires, where the character can make money by selling cocaine, heroin, downers, acid, marijuana, and ecstasy2. (Rated M for Mature; Rated R according to Parents Guide)

These are just a few examples of the many games that reference drug use. Video games can be a tool that some use to escape everyday life and live in a made up world for a little bit. The question to consider is whether or not to let your children play games that include scenes involving drugs or games that are beyond the recommended age. Parents or Guardians, please research the games that your child is asking for this holiday season and talk to them about substance use and addiction.

For more information about game ratings and game reviews, please visit the following sites:

  • commonsensemedia.org
  • imdb.com (search for your game of choice and under ‘storyline’, click ‘parent’s guide’)
  • askaboutgames.com

References:

  1. Coeffec, A., Romo, L., Cheze, N., Riazuelo, H., Plantel, S., Kotbagi, G., and Kern, L., (2015). Early substance abuse consumption and problematic use of video games in adolescence., Frontiers in Psychology. 28 April 2015.  https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00501/full?fbclid=IwAR2Dyt4KG9lsNLyxQTmeNJj8dA0XlqsDWXpqiALYutgg6z0ZFuXbT11ico
  2.  Edwrads, A., 14 Video games that let players take  drugs and completely trip.  https://www.ranker.com/list/ways-to-trip-balls-in-games/aaron-edwards
  3. Saker, A., (2019). Too much screen time changes children’s brains, study finds. USAToday. 4 November 2019. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/parenting/2019/11/04/too-much-screen-time-changes-brains-says-cincinnati-childrens-study/4156063002/

VAPING: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

aneal Healthy Behaviors, Substance Use

What is vaping?

Vaping began as an alternative for adults who smoked cigarettes to help them stop smoking. It has now grown to include recreational use. Vaping involves the use of an e-cigarette, which can come in many different forms and  brands. Some of these look like a USB drive and can be easily hidden. Most put off little to no smoke, making them hard to see or smell. These devices are battery-operated and are used to inhale an aerosol, which typically contains nicotine, flavorings, and  other chemicals3. Nicotine is highly addictive and is known to affect brain development by impacting the reward system3. We have recently seen a rise of use in our middle and high school students locally. The 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Survey results show that 47.1% of high school students and 19.7% of middle school students in the Roanoke Valley said they had used an electronic vapor product. This is an increase from 2017, where 39.8% of high school students and 15.1% of middle school students reported that they had ever used an electronic vapor product.

Why is vaping so attractive to kids?

Vape pens and accessories are easily available, are advertised heavily, currently come in different flavors, and are believed to be safer than cigarettes. All of these factors contribute to making them more appealing to the youth population3. As the flavors seen in e-cigarettes are sweet and fruity, it has been suggested that        e-cigarette companies are marketing them toward the youth because adults trying to quit smoking would be more likely to buy those that taste like cigarettes. 

Vaping and marijuana:

“Dabbing” has become one of the most popular ways for teens to use marijuana. This can refer to use of an      e-cigarette to ingest marijuana concentrates. These concentrates contain large amounts of THC that can be up to four times stronger in THC content than high-grade marijuana2. Most users prefer dabbing because it is smokeless, odorless, easy to hide, and it ensures an instant high when heated2.

Vaping in the news:

We have all read about the recent mystery lung illness that is spreading across our nation. The CDC has    reported 1080 lung injury cases from 48 states and there have been 18 deaths confirmed in 12 states prior to October 1, 20191. The most current findings suggest that the lung injury is associated with e-cigarette use and they also suggest products that contain THC are to blame1. The CDC suggests not using e-cigarette, or vaping products, particularly those containing THC1.

Vaping, using either nicotine or marijuana, is harmful  to a developing brain and should never be used by youth. Parents, talk to your kids about vaping, discuss the dangers, and be open to answering any questions that they may have.

For more information on vaping, visit the sites below:

References:

  1. CDC (2019). Outbreak of Lung Injury Associated with E-cigarette use, or Vaping. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. 3 October  2019.
  2.  JTT. The Facts About Marijuana Concentrates. Just Think Twice.
  3. NIH (2019). Electronic Cigarettes (E-cigarettes). NIH National Institute on Drug Abuse. September 2019. 

Social Media and Substance Use

aneal Healthy Behaviors, social media, Substance Use

The social media era is upon us and everyone always seems to have a device of some sort in their hands. Whether it is Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or any of the others, three out of four Americans use at least one social networking site2. Social media accounts help us to make connections all over the world with a variety of different people. They allow us to talk with friends and family that may be hours away or just down the hall from us.

Social media is known to be a source for updating users on news, discussions, and most famously talking about opinions and feelings. There is, however, a dark side to this social media world. It harvests all kinds of ads and comments on drugs and alcohol. One study was able to conclude that social media users talk about the opioid epidemic on a variety of topics; how to abuse opioids, where to buy opioids, the social impact of opioid abuse and opioid withdrawal4. On the flip side, there are also many social media accounts on the internet that are trying to increase knowledge and spread information on substance use.  There is so much information available to us at just a click of a button. Information is power and social media has the ability to give us that information quickly, but at what cost? There are many pros and cons to the social media world, below are just a few:

Pros:
· It allows teens to stay informed on current events and technology1.
· It is easier to study and carry out research1.
· It can boost self-esteem1.
· It keeps teens connected to friends and family5.
· It can make them feel less alone or isolated5.
· It allows teens to share ideas and explore their creative sides5. 		Cons:
· Teens can be exposed to cyberbullyng, depression and other mental health issues1.
· It can decrease productivity levels1.
· It can destroy social skills and self-esteem1.
· It can lead to the sharing of too much information1.
· There have been reports of social media being used as a strategy for selling drugs3.
· Teens are exposed to tobacco, electronic cigarettes, and alcohol ads from industry and posts about substances by their friends3.

The internet has allowed us to have so much ease with research and connectivity, but with the development of social media platforms, it has opened the doors for exposure to topics like substance use. It can either glorify substance use, or help to inform us on the dangers of them. Parents, take the time to discuss the dangers of social media and set limits on its use with your teens.

References:

1. Austin, K.. (2016). The Pros and cons of teens on Social media. PhoneSheriff. 23 June 2016. http://www.phonesheriff.com/blog/the-pros-and-cons-of-teens-on-social-media/

2. Chary, M.,  Genes, N.,  Giraud-Carrier, C., Hanson, C., Nelson, L., Manini, A., (2017).  Epidemiology from Tweets: Estimating Misuse of Prescription Opioids in USA from Social Media.  Journal of Medical Toxicology. December 2017, 13(4), 278-286. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5711756/

3. Costello, C., Ramo, D. (2017). Social Media and Substance Use: What Should We Be Recommending to Teens and Their Parents? Journal of Adolescent Health. 60 (2017) 629-630. https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(17)30158-1/pdf

4. Pandrekar, S., Chen, X., Gopalkrishna, G., Srivastava, A., Saltz, M., Saltz, J., & Wang, F. (2018). Social Media Based Analysis of Opioid Epidemic Using Reddit. AMIA. Annual Symposium proceedings. AMIA Symposium, December 2018, 867–876. https://ww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371364/

5. TISPY. 7 Pros and Cons of Social Media for Teens and How Parents Can Monitor It. TISPY: Parental Monitoring Software. https://tispy.net/blog/pros-cons-of-social-media-for-teens

OPIOIDS IN THE MEDIA

aneal Drugs, Healthy Behaviors, Prescription Drugs

The rate of overdoses related to prescription painkillers and other opioids within the U.S has increased over the past two decades; where an average of 91 Americans die from an opioid overdose each day.1 The term ‘opioid’ is becoming an everyday term heard on a multitude of media platforms. It is seen and heard on the news, social media, and in our music on a regular basis. Blame for this epidemic is being placed on many different institutions including the government and pharmaceutical companies. But the question is how is the media’s influence affecting our communities and perceptions?

Stigma is a topic of discussion that is commonly associated with the opioid epidemic. The news outlets tend to paint a picture of opioid abusers and make it hard for individuals suffering to seek out help. One article stated that, “more that 80% of stories included a depiction of a single opioid abuser, with two-thirds painting a portrait of a person involved in a criminal activity”.4 This accusation makes it difficult for the public to see that this epidemic is affecting every population and not just convicted criminals.

Social media is known to be a source for updating users on news, allowing for open discussion, and for talking about observations and feelings. One study was able to conclude that the opioid epidemic is talked about online in a variety of topics, including ‘how to abuse opioids’. This was followed by the social impact of opioid abuse and then opioid withdrawal. It also concluded that anonymous accounts are used most for one-time posting which may contain sensitive information specific to the user.3 This indicated that there is still a sense of shame and stigma surrounding opioid use.

Music is another media outlet that has the ability to connect topics to a wide range of people. It can serve as an outlet for people to escape their world. But substance use and abuse can be seen through many genres. A 30 year study was able to conclude that the mention of opioid drugs and medications emerged in the late 1990s. Since then, 57.1% of opioid-referencing songs mention opioid medication and not heroin or street slang2. As more and more lyrics contain the use of opioids the question remains; how is this affecting our youth?

Media is influential and all need to be careful and pay attention to how it affects them. Parents should continue to monitor what your child is reading, watching, and/or listening too. Stay tuned for more information in the coming months.

References:

1. AAMC. (2019). Responding to the opioids epidemic through education, Association of American Medical Colleges. 14 May 2019.  https://news.aamc.org/for-the-media/article/medical-schools-address-opioid-epidemic/

2. Hamba, C., Hanba, D., (2018). Opioid drug prevalence in top 40’s music: a 30 year review.  The Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine. September 2018, 31(5) 761-767.  https://www.jabfm.org/content/31/5/761.short

 3. Pandrekar, S., Chen, X., Gopalkrishna, G., Srivastava, A., Saltz, M., Saltz, J., & Wang, F. (2018). Social Media Based Analysis of Opioid Epidemic Using Reddit. AMIA. Annual Symposium proceedings. AMIA Symposium, December 2018, 867–876. https://ww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371364/

4. Pharmacy times. (2016). How the media frames opioid abuse. Pharmacy Times. 10 January 2016. https://www.pharmacytimes.com/news/how-the-media-frames-opioid-abuse

‘Tis the Season… for Holiday Stress

aneal Alcohol, Drugs, Healthy Behaviors, Life, Mental Health, Prescription Drugs, social media, Uncategorized Leave a comment

The holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate with family and friends but they can also be highly stressful.  Managing the increase in shopping, travel, children’s activities and other obligations this time of year can be very helpful in reducing stress and allowing you and your family to enjoy the holidays.

    1. Take control. You might not be able to control everything on your holiday to-do list but you can control how you react to them. For example, instead of getting worked up during holiday traffic, use the time in your car to listen to a book on tape.
    2. Unload and learn to say “no.” If there are holiday tasks that you just can’t or don’t want to do, let them go – if you can. Also, don’t commit to new things just because you feel you have to. Learning to say “no” may take some practice and might feel uncomfortable at first, but taking on too much can be more stressful than “passing” on a request in the first place.
    3. Choose holiday activities that you can do as a family and are fun for everyone. It’s okay to stop doing activities that members of your family no longer enjoy. If you start a new tradition and it doesn’t go well, do something different the next year.
    4. Maintain your children’s bedtime routine. Even during the holidays, keeping the daily bedtime routines will ensure you and your children are well-rested.
    5. Delegate. Let each family member be responsible for cleaning/decorating a room. Create a “job jar” with everyone taking a turn choosing what his or her job will be. Be sure to make your expectations clear to your children and consider lowering your standards a little bit. Your home doesn’t have to look perfect to be welcoming and your children will be proud of their contribution to the holiday celebration.
    6. Be realistic about relatives. Don’t try to solve past family issues over the holidays and use discretion instead of bringing up every little irritation. If going to a relative’s house every year causes a lot of stress, decide if you really need to do it. Maybe you can go every other year instead.
    7. Create a budget and stick to it. Managing your money during the holidays doesn’t have to add extra stress. Budget how much you want to spend on gifts, food and the household during the holidays and stick to that amount.
    8. Don’t give in to the “Gimmes.” The familiar phrase of, “I want, I want!” can wear parents down over the holidays, but giving in to your child’s every request can cause financial distress. It’s okay to tell your child that a gift is too expensive and that even Santa Claus has limited funds. Another way to fight the commercialism of the holidays is to start traditions that don’t cost any extra money. Bake cookies, go caroling, give to needy families or volunteer.
    9. Set limits for college kids. A college student home for the holidays can wreak havoc on family routines. Your teen has been on his or her own and doing things very differently for months, so you’ll need to set some ground rules in advance. Everyone’s going to have to compromise during the visit so it’s important that parents and kids be respectful of each other.
    10. Set aside time for yourself. One of the best things you can do for your family is to take care of yourself. Whether it is exercising, meditating, reading a book, enjoying coffee with a friend or simply going to bed at a reasonable time, it’s important to de-stress yourself during the holidays. Prioritizing obligations and setting limits and boundaries about how you spend your time will not only save you some unnecessary stress this holiday season, it will teach your children a valuable lesson about what is important to your family.

Here are some other posts you may find helpful (click on the title to go to the post):

Social Hosting and Safe Holiday Parties for Teens

Fun and Alcohol-Free Party Ideas

Helping Your Teenager Manage Stress

Drugs, Alcohol and Abusive Relationships in Teens

Signs of Depression in Teenagers

Helping Your Teen Through Depression

Encouraging Your Teen to Get Naturally High

Failing Safely: Helping Teens Succeed by Letting Them Fail

Parents, talk to your teens.  They will listen!

Social Media Causes Isolation in Teens

aneal Healthy Behaviors, Life, Mental Health, social media, Trends, Uncategorized Leave a comment

Social media was originally thought to be something that would expand our worldview and help us feel connected to people who don’t live in our neighborhood.  With only a few swipes on their smartphones, teens can now meet more people, develop relationships and have more opportunities for seeing beyond the world around them… or so it may seem.  What’s actually happening is that teens are becoming more sheltered and less independent than any generation before them.

According to social psychologist Jean Twenge:

  • Today’s 12th graders spend less time outside of the house without their parents than 8th graders did in 2009.
  • The number of teens who spend time daily with friends dropped by 40% between 2000 and 2015. (Smartphones became popular around 2012.)
  • Only 55% of high school seniors have jobs when school is in session, compared to 77% during the late 1970s.
  • Teens are also driving less and depending on parents more for rides.

This isolation has had a painful effect on our teenagers.  Jean Twenge states that rates of depression and suicide are so high that members of Generation Z are “on the brink of the worst mental health crisis in decades.” How did this happen? Listed below are some ways that social media harms teens.

  • Social media prevents teens from learning or practicing social skills. The teen years are when the social skills necessary for adulthood are learned, practiced and improved. Because of social media, teens don’t get the chance to put in the work of getting to know a person because everything about that person is already posted and on display.
  • Because of social media, being ignored is now intensified. With all the ways teens communicate instantly through their phones and can see if their messages have been read, teens know when they are being ignored. Because teens lack impulse control, they often reply immediately and they expect the same of their peers. When a teen sees that a friend is ignoring them, the teen feels anxious, ignored, frustrated and unimportant.
  • Social media makes it very easy for teens to know when they’re being left out. When today’s adults were teens, we didn’t know we were left out of a gathering unless someone told us or we overheard someone talking about it. Missing out hurts. These days, all a teen has to do is open their favorite app to see what their friends are doing without them – and others can see it, too. Knowing instantly that they have been left out and that others know about it – even while the event is still happening – can be devastating for a teen.
  • Social media makes it difficult for teens to consider other points-of-view. Social media platforms like Tumblr encourage people to only interact with people who think like they think. The  algorithms for Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat are constantly being changed, and the trend is moving toward the same kind of like-minded interaction.  If teens are only talking to other teens who also feel lonely and depressed, they won’t hear different points-of-view.  Because their brains are still developing, teens can’t see beyond the situation they are experiencing.  When they talk only to other teens who feel as they feel, they don’t realize that people actually care about and will listen to them.
  • Social media can harm a teen’s already-fragile self-image. People tend to post only the photos and details about their lives that they want others to see. Because teens don’t understand that what they see online isn’t real, they compare their own lives to the perfect, happy lives they see and feel they can’t measure up to others. This leads to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, loneliness and depression. The problem gets worse when a teen receives “likes” and praise on a fake life they show online because it supports their belief that their regular lives aren’t good enough. It’s a vicious cycle.
  • Quality time and relationships suffer when social media is a priority. People tend to pay attention to others who are not present more than the people who are right in front of them. We’ve all ignored things in our lives because we were playing on our phones. Teens are no exception; when they are distracted by an app or texting with friends, they aren’t spending time strengthening relationships with the people who are physically around and care about them – their families and actual friends.

 Now that you know the ways social media can hurt teens, here are some ways you can help reduce the damage:

  • Set a limit for your teen of 2 hours per day of phone/screen time. (Go ahead and assume that at least 30 minutes are used at school.)This boundary might be difficult to set and maintain, but you’ll be helping your teen immensely. This will work best if the entire family has to follow the limitation.
  • Encourage your teen to get naturally high. A natural high comes from participating in any activity they enjoy, even if they aren’t good at it. Support and encourage your teen in finding THEIR OWN natural high, not what you want for them. Doing so will be especially helpful for improving their self-esteem.
  • Unplug and spend time with your teen and your family when everyone is together. Sit down for a family dinner and have everyone put their devices in a separate place. Being present with your other family members will strengthen your relationships with each other and also set a positive example for your teen.
  • Tell your teen to get to work!  As long as it leaves plenty of time for completing schoolwork and spending time with family, a part-time job will provide opportunities to practice social skills, learn responsibility, impulse control and discipline and make their own money while being independent. A bonus is that they won’t be able to play on their phone!
  • Take an interest in your teen. Don’t just ask “How was your day?” and leave them alone. Ask open-ended questions about their daily lives and ask about the things THEY think are important, even if you don’t understand.  Listening to your teen will help you understand them better and will let them know you care. When you’re asking your questions, be sure BOTH of you are free from cell phones or other distractions.
  • Get them moving. Exercising regularly causes the brain to release feel-good chemicals that may help with depression. It also reduces fatigue, helps with concentration, helps increase self-esteem, serves as a healthy distraction and is a positive way to cope with difficult situations and feelings. Also, it’s an opportunity for them to look at the world around them. It doesn’t have to be intense or last a long period of time. What’s important is that your teen gets moving and does it often. Again, this will work best if you’re setting an example and doing it too.
  • Encourage your teen to spend time with friends, in person. Invite their friends over for pizza – and have them turn in their phones at the door. They may think it’s lame at first, but they will enjoy the face-to-face time and will actually communicate with each other, which will strengthen those relationships.

Strengthening your teen from the negative effects of social media may be difficult, as he or she will not see the benefit and you’ll be met with resistance, but you know what’s best for your child.  You can do it!

Parents, pay attention to your teen’s social media use.  They need your help to be safe!

Emerging Adults – Supporting the Transition into Adulthood

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There’s a newish term for the period between ages 18-29: emerging adulthood. During these years, emerging adults travel a path during which they want to pull away from the struggles of their teenage years and feel more responsible for themselves, but are also still closely tied to their parents and family.   According to the American Psychological Association, emerging adulthood is defined as an:

  • Age of identity exploration.Young people are deciding who they are and what they want out of work, school and love.
  • Age of instability.The post-high school years are marked by repeated residence changes, as young people either go to college or live with friends or a romantic partner.
  • Age of self-focus.Free of the parent- and society-directed routine of school, young people try to decide what they want to do, where they want to go and who they want to be with – before those choices get limited by the constraints of marriage, children and a career.
  • Age of feeling in between.Many emerging adults say they are taking responsibility for themselves but still do not completely feel like an adult.
  • Age of possibilities.Hopefulness is unlimited. Most emerging adults believe they have good chances of living “better than their parents did,” and even if their parents divorced, they believe they’ll find a lifelong soul mate.

Many emerging adults have more choices than ever before. They may find themselves continually searching for the absolute “perfect fit” when it comes to career, marriage, or parenthood. Parents, though, may feel frustrated or impatient with the slow progress of their emerging adult’s development. Peers may want to help but might not know how, as they are trying to figure out their own path. This leads us to the important question:

How can parents and peers best support emerging adults?

  •  Try not to offer advice about higher education, career directions or love interests. Let your emerging adult come to you when he or she is ready for advice. Allowing time and space for young adults to sort out their choices will be best for everyone involved.
  • Be curious about your emerging adult, but avoid interfering. When they share details about their upcoming choices and plans, help them to discover their wants and needs, not yours. It helps to ask open-ended questions (which can’t be answered with “Yes” or “No”). The goal is to open up space for them to explore their ideas and become more confident in their decisions.
  • Support them in finding organizational systems that work for them. This age brings bills, budgeting, increased responsibilities, a busier social calendar and additional belongings to keep straight. Good organizational systems will help your emerging adult feel more in control and capable of meeting the demands of this new life.  Remember, what works for you may not work for them.
  • Help them learn how to talk to those in authority. Navigating the world as an adult can be difficult and anxiety-causing for emerging adults if they don’t know how speak to adults as peers/colleagues or respectfully advocate for themselves. Brainstorm and role play situations when this skill might be necessary.
  • Don’t rescue your emerging adult. Watching your emerging adult make mistakes is tough. He or she will make decisions you don’t agree with, but they legally have the right to do so and must be allowed to have the responsibility of accepting the consequences of their actions. Experience is often the best teacher.
  • Don’t belittle them when they make mistakes. No one responds well to criticism. Look for what your emerging adult loves, what they do well and what they aspire to do, and focus on that. Remind them that you believe in them and that they have the ability to accomplish their goals.

It is important to trust your emerging adult to create their own life.  After all your hard work of building a solid foundation for them, it’s time to sit back and watch them fly.  It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it. It’s not giving up, it’s giving them control.

Parents, be there for your emerging adults.  They still need you!